Mission Birthday

October 6th, it was my fiancée’s first birthday with me.

Until late, we were under this impression that he would fly off back to work and hence, will not be here with me. But things changed. His travel plans got delayed. By the time I discovered that he is going to be with me on his birthday, I hardly had time to plan for his birthday.

Now, I started off on my mission – ‘Mission Birthday’.

Groundwork

I wished to give some extraordinary gift. The biggest question in front of me was WHAT!!? I suddenly got reminded about the two rubies that he had gifted me some time back. I dint know what to do of it, so, I had just sealed it in the purse and kept it in the safe and long forgotten!! I went up to the cupboard, took the stones out on my palm and gazed at them. I was still clueless as to what to do out of it. But yeah, I was sure I would get something done out of it, one for each of us. There were two options running in my mind – dollar, finger ring. I stuck to finger ring.

I went to the jeweler from whom we normally get the gold articles done. I showed him the stones and asked to make two finger rings out of it. I demanded that I would want it by 1st October. He refused. I dint know what else to do. I contacted a few of my friends and finally one friend told me about the jeweler in Malleswaram who would do it for me in time. The very next day (it was a Saturday) I went with her to that place and put it for making. My friend’s office is nearby that jeweler’s shop, so, I asked her to collect them for me. One of my worries was sorted. Previous to this week, I had severe cold and I had hardly recovered. Now, traveling so far in two-wheeler on those dusty roads wouldn’t have spared me so easily. I fell sick. I got viral fever. So, the mission was seized.

Days just passed by and it was already October 1st and my friend had collected the rings for me. My fiancée had gone out of station to attend a family function. Right opportunity it was for me to arrange for everything. I went out to shop for some more gifts for him. Again clueless as to what I should be buying. Finally, picked up t-shirts for him. On my way back home, I went to my friend’s place and collected the rings from her. They were cute and I liked them both.

Now, my concern was cake. I wanted something unique here too. Again I sought my friends for suggestions (one of them also suggested that I should make the cake myself, for which my straight answer was I wanted to make his birthday special and not spoil it!) and finally, I liked one of the designs (thanks to google which makes search so easy). The next question ahead was, where can I place an order for that cake. 2nd October, I started my survey. I went to Sweet Chariot, Nilgiris, and Just bake to find out whether they will be able to do it. But, all these places, I had to accept no as an answer. And moreover, I went through the albums they had, which contained, super man, spider man, bat man, cartoons, wedding cakes etc. I was loosing hopes by now. My last hope was a Christian Aunt that I knew. But, it was already late in the evening (6:30PM) and we had plans of meeting. Deepu’s sister had come down and I was going to meet her for the first time. I went to his place, met everyone, we went to temple and came back home and I pushed off from the place. I went to the Christian aunt on my way and asked her whether she could make one for me. Although she did not deny that she can, she did not assure me of the finishing and the feel. I dint want to take a chance. I said to myself, maybe I am asking for more. So, I decided I would go for some nice readymade cake.

Gifts were ready. I had to now plan as to when, where and how I will have to celebrate his birthday and hand over all my sweet gifts which meant a lot for me. Because, more than a t-shirt, more than a ring, they were a token; an expression, of my love towards Deepu!! So, I wanted the moment also to be special.

Plan 1

My first plan goes like this:
Wish him on 5th October in the midnight.
Get up early in the morning next day and land up at his house with just the cake and the t-shirts.
He will cut the cake, I will gift him the t-shirts.
Meet him after office and go to dine with him.
And just before the food is served, gift him the ring.
My main motive here was being this, that I should make him eat a piece of cake while he has not brushed his teeth (How dirty!!) :)

Plan 2 (Plan 1 revised)

Second plan was almost the same with a slight modification in time. I came up with this plan solely because, I felt, Deepu knows and understands me so very well that he would have expected that on 6th, I would go in the morning and wish him for his birthday. Only the gift would be a surprise, I thought. So, I changed the plan as below:
I would go to his place a little earlier to 12 in the midnight on 5th October (Going in the midnight, NO, Deepu wouldn’t have expected. Now, this is what is called SURPRISE!!).
Arrange the cake and the gifts.
Wait for it to be 12, enter his room and wake him. (But, just in case, if he has not slept yet, I would call to his mobile and ask him to open the door for me).
Then as usual, cut the cake, give away the gifts and get back home.
The next day’s dinner plan was also retained.

Questions are never ending. Now, I dint know how my plan (read: plan 2) can be executed. I had to take permission from everyone. And all of them should agree to it. I don’t know why I had doubts although my brother-in-law had told that my mom-in-law wouldn’t mind (Yes, I had already discussed with him about this possibility).

Strategy enlightened

3rd October, Deepu’s grannies had come to his house and Deepu insisted that I should visit his house so that they can see me. Although I went that day a little hesitantly, I did not regret, because, I got ample time to sit and discuss my plan with my mom-in-law. My sister-in-law gave complete support to my plan and my mom-in-law also just nodded and showed her consent. I was more than happy that 4th October just skipped from my calendar.

5th October, Sunday, as usual I slept till late, got a head massage done. Took bath quite late and my dad came up with his talks asking when I will go for shopping (shopping for formal engagement) with Deepu. And he insisted to go then itself. I too felt the idea was good and hence called Deepu. It was around 3:00 in the noon. I had totally forgotten that I haven’t got the cake yet. I asked him to drop me in Jayanagar while coming back. I said (lied) to him that I need to go to beauty parlor and gents are not allowed there. He did not concur to it. He never liked my idea of going alone in the night.

I suggested, I would go to parlor in the noon, finish and call him at around 4PM. He said, he would rather prefer that. Meanwhile, I went to Jayanagar and got the cake. He came home, picked me and we went shopping. I liked a dark blue stripes shirt (Generally, he prefers colors towards the grayish side). So, he said no to it :( We chose a shirt and a pant for him and were paying the bill; I was standing next to him completely tired, my body almost clinging to his. He looked at me and asked, ‘Shall I pick that blue shirt too??’ My lips stretched without any external force. And the gentle curve on my face conveyed I was genuinely happy. I smiled and said yes. He bought that too. I was happy thinking he would wear it for his birthday the next day. We headed from there, roamed around for some time and then he dropped me home (It was already 9:30 by then. I had insisted him to leave early, and go to sleep early. But, he got me late). He left to his house and I called my brother-in-law and said that I would call him when I reach their house and he should slowly open the door for me. He said yes. We tentatively decided the time to be 11:45PM.

My parents knew about all my plans from day 1. My dad was ready to come along with me to his house in the night. We were killing time. And at around 11:20PM, we left to his house. On my way, at 11:30PM, Deepu called (he usually calls me before he goes to sleep). He was very sleepy (and I was happy to know it). He kept saying he is sleepy and wants to sleep; I casually spoke to him for some time and put the phone down. We were near his house. I ringed my brother-in-law. He opened the door for us. I gained the entrance in to his house.

THE MISSION EXECUTED

The time was 11:40PM now. All were awake and sitting in the living room, watching TV. I arranged the cake and the gifts on the table and asked for a knife, kept it ready. Clicked one or two snaps of the cake. All was done and we all started the countdown, 15 more minutes were left. 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9...

When it was 12AM, we switched off all the lights. TV was still on and the arrangement could be seen in that light. So, I asked my brother-in-law to switch off the TV too. And when he did, I started screaming out of fear and ran to my mom-in-law (yes, I am scared of darkness and being alone). Later, my sister-in-law helped me get into his room. I went in, switched on the light and woke him up. He was shocked to see me there at that hour and he got scared too. He just asked 'what happened?' I led him out to the living room and switched on the lights. He saw the cake and the neatly wrapped gifts with eyes full of surprise. We all clapped. He sat down, took some time to understand what was happening. Then he slowly read the cream rich cake from which chocolate sticks were projecting out. ‘A warm birthday wishes to my husband-to-be DEEPU’ was inscribed on it. It did not take long for him to realize our plan. Looked at us all, with a gentle smile and the finest dimple. Then, he cut the cake, I made him eat and put some on his face too...

We all gave the gifts to him. I gave him two t-shirts first. He wore both of them one above the other. Then the next one, the ring, he opened the wrap, saw it and wore it. I showed my ring too (which I was already wearing) and said, ‘hope you remember these stones’. He nodded with a bigger smile this time.

We both were speechless. It was evident we were very happy. It was a timeless pleasure that we owned that moment. People around us were also more than glad to be a part of our happiness. It is only now when I am writing this post that I realize, it is not only tough but impossible to put it in words how excited I was about my plan being a SUCCESS!!

Later, we all had cake and since it was getting late, we said, we will leave, and my dad walked out.

His family (mother, brother, sister and cousin) stood up. I had still not given the chief and the most important gift to him (what is it?? No, it is not mentioned in here till now). I looked around once. Said bye to everyone. Walked up to Deepu, looked into his eyes, hugged him tight and kissed him. Dint dare to look at anyone else after that. Said happy birthday again and went back home.

Next day’s dinner plan was still there. But, I had got tremendous happiness with that night’s surprise party and having got the pleasure of watching my Deepu showing ultimate happiness in his every move and word. I had conquered the world. I was reigning. There was no end for my happiness.

6th October, I got up in the morning, hurried (as always) and rushed to office. Had no mood to be at office though. All the time, I felt I should be with him. The day seemed longer than the usual. I looked at my watch almost a million times and the time did not have mercy on me. It kept its pace. I was being impatient. It’s at about 4:50PM that he messaged. The text read that he would start in another 10 minutes and come to me before 5:30. My pulse became faster, my heart started thumping harder and I was thrilled. I eagerly waited for him.

It was 5:09PM when my mobile rang. He had left to my office. I spoke to him for about 15-20 minutes and then I shut down my system and ran to him. Did not forget to look in to the mirror when I went out. I was feeling as though I am seeing him after a long time. I had a strange, yet sweet feeling. There he was in that blue shirt that we purchased the previous day with the usual elegant smile on his face. I wouldn’t have mind to die a thousand deaths for that moment. I controlled my tears (of course, tears of happiness). Went up to him, gave a hug, kissed a hello and we headed.

My first candle light dinner

He asked me which place we were going. I said, Eden Park. He dint know the place, so, asked for land marks. I told him Vidhanasouda, GPO, Indian Express, and just behind Hindu. We went on and got lost. We were going round and round near The Hindu. Later, we asked for the route and reached the place.

We went in. Asked for candle light dinner for two. We were shown 2-3 places. We chose the best available. I asked for the terrace dinner, they told it was closed. We sat. Ordered starters and red wine!!! And (guess what!??) his phone rang :(. A drink was served and then came the starters. We found that the starters were too much, too heavy. And also he dint like the food so much. Now, he looked at me with so much love (or I looked at him with so much love) that I felt he was looking too good!! He held my hand and then, his phone rang (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr >:( again!!?). This time, I really got irritated and it could be seen on my face. But, it was an official call and an important one (that's what I could incur from the conversation).

After the call, the main story begun. He started talking of his work and business!! How insane and unromantic, I thought. I felt like crying (remembering that is what he had talked about in our first meeting too). But lucky me, he could sense it. He took my hand in his, kissed it and said, 'I am sorry'. I looked at him surprised! He said, 'sorry, I started talking business'. No! This time, phone did not ring :). I was relieved. I felt proud that he understands me so very well that there was no need for me to tell what I felt. Before I could say, he had sensed it.

He recalled last night's surprise and when he expressed his gratitude, his eyes were brimming. Every word he spoke was soul touching. I can’t write anything more of it!! It leaves me with tears in my eyes... He loves me, and he loves me a lot.

Our drink got over and I was done with the starters too. We ordered for two more glasses of red wine. Spoke so many beautiful things while we drank. Then the main course. We ate. And the time was already 9:40. I dint like the ice-cream menu, so, we decided to move on.

As we got out to the car, I hugged him and wished him 'happy birthday'. We both were very happy. A timeless happiness, pleasure, and love.

We sat in the car. Started singing songs all the while. Stopped near a temple and prayed to god. Went to a sweet stall and bought some sweets to home. Headed home. He came in, gave the sweets to my mom. Sat for sometime and left.

Even now the moments are fresh in my eyes. His words were so magical. Some were really special. And of course a sweet little poem that he has written for me (he has promised to give it to me hand written).

This way, ‘Mission Birthday’ was a grand success. And all credit goes to Captain Roopa for making it possible ;)

One of my recent pranks

I played a prank with Deepu (For all those who don’t know, Deepu alias Deepak is my fiancée) yesterday!! ;) The whole incident accidentally went on so very well that I got a topic to write a post for my blog ;)

Note: Some conversations are in Kannada. So, for all those who don’t follow Kannada, the English translation is given in brackets.

I admit I have always been a prankster in school, home, office and everywhere. My SIR could not escape from it too!! This is not one of my best pranks. But yes, this one is special, because, it’s my first prank with my husband-to-be and so the experience was different.

As usual, yesterday also we met in Jayanagar (I can’t express in words how much I hate this place and yet we end up meeting there almost everyday) in the evening. We parked our vehicles near La Casa and took a walk along the pavement. We also sat for some time and talked of his work, business etc. And soon we realized it was late and yet another day had come to an end (I was happy thinking we got one more day closer to our marriage :)).

We started from that place by around 9:00PM. Deepu also had come by two-wheeler. Both were going next to each other blocking the roads ;) It was damn good fun!!

Out of the blue, I began to act crazy. I behaved as if I have fallen in love with Deepu (Actually, yes I am in love with Deepu). As if I am following him, insisting him to accept my love... (Inspired by all those stupid movies that I watched of-late) I literally was trying to block his vehicle and kept on saying, ‘please opkolo (accept), I love you kano, please’ and what not. While I was acting kiddish, through out the way, Deepu was just smiling to glory...

Meanwhile, Deepu had to take a right near monotype to go to his house, and so, he said, he would turn his vehicle there (I had to go straight). I said, ‘no no no noooooooooooooo’, I started screaming. So, poor thing, he did not take a turn and came straight along with me. Again, I started off with my childish act (goes without saying that he miserably continued to tolerate my folly). ;)

Then came saarakki, from where again he had to take a deviation to go home. This time although I insisted, he did not listen to me and he just went off waving his hand to me. I just looked at him with my jaws down and went on my way...

I was almost nearing my house and I thought of something! Something creepy!!

I called Deepu and with a sobbing tone, I asked him, 'Yellidya??' (Where are you?)

He said, 'I am at home, yaake, yenaithu??' (I am at home, why, what happened)

I replied, 'I had an accident'

His shivering voice said he was shaken as he asked (almost immediately), 'Where? How? What happened????? Where are you now?'

I said, 'I am riding back home’

He followed, ‘So, nothing happened??’

I replied, ‘Nothing much happened. Just my lower lip got slit and I got hurt on my hand and knee'

‘Where??’ came the question.

I instantly said (or should it be lied), ‘Near metro’ (Such a big liar I am)

He was totally upset by this time and he said, ‘Barbeka?? (Should I come?) I am coming’ and he started to head towards my house to see me.

I sensed the heat now. I started laughing loud and said, 'GOTCHA!! Fool, fool, fool'. I then told him, I was just kidding. I reached home by then and parked my vehicle in garage.

He was damn tensed by now. I dint know he would take it so seriously. I spoke to him for some time and I thought I convinced him and cut the call. But I think he probably felt I was just trying to hide things from him because I dint want to trouble him. And so, he told the matter to his mom and a minute later, my phone rang. I picked up and this time, my mother-in-law was talking and she asked me, 'what happened?' I explained to her that I just played a prank.

My family was full of scolding for me for having done this blunder.

But, I enjoyed!! Had loads of fun...

Although, I apologized to Deepu (quite a lot of times), I say it again, I am sorry Deepu for playing so weird with you. I did that because I love you ;)

Appreciation

Appreciate!! It’s been bugging me so much that it’s even on my list of things to do, but it’s one of those things that if you don’t make an effort to do it, it will never happen.

Appreciation is required in both professional and personal life. It comes in various forms. It could be verbal, or conveyed with some action or with some reward or a gift. There are just too many ways to put across appreciation.

When it comes to relationships, it is not easy! We often hear people say, ‘Even if I say thank you, it doesn’t seem to matter’. Why is it so??? Appreciating someone who is your life partner is a very sensitive concern (Especially, if you are a guy).

Flattering does not work always. And not all beautiful girls are brainless!! Here are a few ways (NOTE: They are just my personal opinion) those are quite natural and express your appreciation to your girl and I am sure, she would fall head over heal :)

Well, the best way to TELL her is to simply talk to her everyday. Simplest!!! Talk to her either every morning or every night before you go to bed. Tell her that you couldn't imagine your life with out her. That will make her feel really special. I think that actions speak louder than words. So, kiss her goodbye and hello every day :)

Sometimes, giving gifts is also essential. In most cases, flowers and a nice card (make sure you draft your feelings for her in the card) will do the trick followed by a romantic candle light dinner (would be even special if you plan it as a surprise). And of course, lots of hugs and kisses :)

Or even better, get a pet!! Yes, if she loves animals, you can get her a pet and they last way longer than some flowers or get her a nice plant at least.

Write her a letter (For those who can, write about her in your blogs or poems!!) when you are at work and give it to her when you meet her. Girls generally treasure these kinds of memories, nicely tied with ribbon. They love it.

If you are a husband, find something that is important to her. Get up earlier to her on weekends and make coffee, feed the pets and let your wife sleep a little. (She will be ready to jump your bones when you clean the kitchen, if you could do that too). These little things mean so much to her and it says you love her and you care for her and you are concerned about her and that you understand.

Do not point out her flaws and make her feel she is a misfit. It is often observed in some men that they keep pointing defects in their partner. They might be doing it, so that their partners better themselves. But, most of the times it leaves an adverse effect. She might feel you don’t like her; she is your biggest compromise!! So, beware!! If you wish to see some change in her, put it across in a sweet, not so rude approach.

Finally, there's nothing more you can do, really!! Unless you want to come straight out, and tell her that you love her.

Love is all that she needs from you, give it in abundance.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE :)

An extract of Independence Day speech that I wrote for one of my friends (actually, friend’s girl friend). I was writing one of these after about 10 years!!! After having got into corporate world, I never got a chance to refresh my older memories. And when I was lettering it today, I still could feel an electrifying effect through out my body!!!

Hello All,

Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge... At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance Jawaharlal Nehru Claiming Independence from British Midnight of August 14, 1947.

Today, is Independence Day! The last time I spoke or rather gave a speech on this day was way back in my school :). At that tender age, I did not realize what I was saying, for me standing on the podium and addressing a huge crowd was so exciting that I did it with pleasure.

But today, when I stand here as a matured girl, a responsible citizen of this nation, I feel proud to be an INDIAN. At this age, wherein we have already read the history of Indian Independence for long eons, there is no point talking about the past. So, my intention of this talk would be to rouse you to think of present and future with Independence as perspective. Yet, since our fighters have had a great deal giving us this opportunity of celebrating this day, I would first of all like to salute them all and express my heartfelt gratitude to all those great souls!

To name a few legendaries, Mahatma Gandhi, one of my ideals, of course, he has most fans following after “Munna Bhai MBBS” and “Lage Raho Munna Bhai”, Bhagat Singh, the well known trio - BAL PAL LAL, Jawaharlal Nehru, Chandrashekar Azad and many more.

When Independence Day is in the offing, one sees a sudden burst of saffron, green and white, the Indian tri-color. The media goes to town with a variety of contests, promotions and programmes related to Indian independence. Television channels show patriotic movies and relentlessly play patriotic songs from old and new Hindi movies. Billboards on roadsides for different brands pay their tribute to the nation. Everyone seems to have something going for them. Shops and petty tradesmen sell a range of Independence Day merchandise such as flags, stickers, tee-shirts and greeting cards. Street urchins hawk paper and plastic flags and tri-colored balloons to motorists at traffic signals.

But, after a day or two, you and I will find the tri-colored flags on the streets, in gutter!! What a shame? I had initiated one such group in my colony wherein after every national festival we go on roads as scavengers and collect all the unattended flags lying orphaned. Being in a busy world now, if each one of us can take the pain of picking one flag up and giving awareness to people regarding the importance of it, I think we have given a tribute to the nation and our national leaders, to whom we owe our lives.

Unfortunately, for most of us today, Independence Day is a holiday, or probably a long weekend!! We don’t realize the significance of it, because we haven’t witnessed that struggle, we haven’t faced those tribulations. Being educated, we first need to value our freedom. I would want to emphasize here on “Responsible Freedom”. Yes, you heard it right, “RESPONSIBLE FREEDOM”. Most of the times, we forget that freedom does come with conditions. Freedom does not mean you have the right to wantonly exercise your liberties. Freedom comes with responsibilities. We should know how to use it wisely.

What is this responsible freedom now?? You are free to smoke, but not in my face. You are free to eat, but not from my plate. You are free to be happy, but not at my expense. You are free to fight for your rights, but not snatching mine. You have to know what you can and cannot do with freedom.

Country was moved by the recent bomb blasts that happened here in the city and Ahmadabad. We belong to a different society or class from where we hardly find time to spend thinking on these issues. We are rather busy impressing our PM, pretending to work till late night, hang out in weekends, make more money and fly abroad. That’s all we can think. All these times, we forget, it is WE who constitute the nation. I am not asking you stop living. But, in your lifetime dedicate a small fraction for some good cause.

I would like to conclude my talk here hoping that all of you will at least get influenced by one of the minute and yet giant points that I mentioned here today. Let the world see the transformation in terms of patriotism in young Indians. I proudly want to dedicate these words to all Indians, my friends, colleagues and last but never the least to Abhinav Bindra, who won gold for India in shooting, 10m Air rifle. Three cheers to all of us. Hip Hip Hurray!!!

Jai Hind.

Thanks one and all.

The Bride-To-Be: A different phase of life!

The reminiscences of my past are still as spanking new as the first rain drop. I am actually unaware of how these many eons flew away in my laughter, whimper, and mischief, being loved by one and all and adoring life every split second. Its not that I did not have a poignant day ever since I was born, but, I lived to my fullest all the time.

Roopa wearing a short red (or maybe maroon) skirt, with neatly polished black shoes and high pony tails with red (again, I am confused about color) ribbon carrying a heavy school bag exists for me even at the present. With each passing day, she had grown into a young lady running behind all mesmerizing things under the sky, always wanting the best for herself. She was now very composed, confident, fun loving, always smiling, and bubbly girl. She possessed a cozy world in some corner of earth and she was happily dwelling there fantasizing about all that her tiny brain could think of. She was always jumping with joy and trying to reach the sky. She never thought of settling in life.

[Yet, a few things never changed!! She still loves anything with chocolates and chilies in it. She still hates (or rather scared of) insects with large wings (cockroaches... yuk). She still hopes and wishes one day there will be no crime happening in the world. She still expects that there will be a day coming in future when everyone on earth is going to be happy, with no signs of grief. She still gets confused !@#$&*** if given too many choices.]

And today, I sit back and summon up my childhood. Because, in the present day I am heading towards a new tomorrow. Until this minute, I have always been a pampered princess, both at home and workplace. Not anything has been shaking for me; I have always pushed my way ahead. Again, it doesn’t mean that today I have something creepy to come up. But yeah, unquestionably, the advance that has been happening since past few days has caused a stirring effect in my life!!

Whoa!! I will be shortly getting married!!!! Yeah! Yeah! It’s no big deal, each one of us does get married one day. But, for me it is a BIG deal. Because, earlier to all this, I was a diverse person than what I am today!

It was a tough nut to crack. My parents, my family, my friends, and all my well-wishers had to put a lot of effort to make me say yes. I would always walk away from the place whenever people spoke of marriage. Although I had a few crushes way back in college and few more in my workplace, I never got into the mode of wedding with anyone. So, when I unwillingly said yes, all the time my heart was praying that I should not get a right match.

On that day, I got out of my house to go to office. The first thing I saw was a newly wed couple, who happen to be my neighbor!! They greeted me with a wonderful smile as I started my vehicle. And all the way to my office, I did not have a hint of what took place afterwards. As usual, I was listening to music, and watching people around, gazing into my watch subsequently, cursing the Bangalore traffic and managing to cover the remaining distance sooner. And to my surprise, most of the people I saw around were couple – happily (??) married couple!! I found that fact interesting. My thought process had already begun to raise a lot of questions to me.

After reaching office, although I was occupied with work, my mind was engaged in thoughts of marriage and its significance. Fortunately or unfortunately, I had an accident the same evening, on my way home. Was bed ridden the next day. The entire day, I laid down and thought of marriage!! I could not believe it that a girl like me could think of marriage for one long day. Its then, I realized what it means to have a companion for life. What it feels like to have someone who would love me so much that he would spend his lifetime with me!! The thought was mind blowing. It had its own beauty and colors. I was impressed by its magical appearance. I could see myself as a happily married woman, leading a contented life with a family of my own. Felt proud!! There was nothing finer than that at that moment.

Now my decision for marriage was MY DECISION. I was more than excited. But…, ifs and buts are always there in everyone’s life and I am no exception. I had loads of happiness in the thought of being married and more of doubts about my would-be life partner. What if I don’t find the right person?? Again, it is a matter of lifetime. And, how will I find how RIGHT he is for me?? Obsessed with all these thoughts, I was counting the days to Shravana (We don’t do anything auspicious in the month of Ashada).

Who knew that I was blessed with a lovely day even before my wait is over!!! Unexpectedly, we got a call on one fine weekend (Saturday) that a guy by name Deepak is interested in my profile and would be coming to see me the next day. The picture is still clear in front of my eyes. I was waving my hand asking my dad to say ‘NO’. I was not mentally prepared and neither did I have any details about the guy apart from his name and education. But, he had seen my complete profile and photograph. Above all, the next day, Sunday morning, we were again told that the guy wants to meet me outside!! That was shocking for me. I had to meet him outside my comfort zone, HOME!! I tried all possible ways to avoid going. I acted as if I have fallen sick. But, nothing worked.

I was taken to the match maker’s house. I saw the guy there. The first thing I noticed was his Venus dimple, which was as cute as his simple smile. I went out with him to a coffee day and we sat there for over an hour. All the while I was pretty nervous and he spoke of his business (How boring he could be to explain that to a girl!? In the first meet!! I thought). I did not understand most of the things he tried to explain to me. But, his attitude, his approach, his elegant smile and the cute dimple, and the way he tried to put me to comfort was one of its kinds. Undoubtedly, he had gained my confidence in the first meet!!

Second was even better! I started liking him. I noticed his eyes. They had mischief, love, care, brightness and joy in them. I was impressed. I loved the duo. The way he maintained dignity in the relationship, although he knew what we were meeting for was also prominent.

The third, the fourth and so on.. It started getting better each time. Gradually, unknowingly, I had fallen in love with him!! Amazing experience it was. It had given me a tremendous happiness :) I reached cloud number nine!! And dint want to look down.

After having met his family- his mom, brother, sister (Note: I have just spoken to her over phone and yet I say MET), I was clear what I was blessed with!! God had paid all my dues. Later, both the families formally met up and expressed their consent for the relationship. And the dates were decided.

And today, when I sit and eagerly wait for that BIG day, I only feel very lucky and proud that I have Deepak as my (the most understanding) life partner! And a new phase of my life has just begun…

Did you smile today!!?????

It’s been a week that I joined this company and there is not a single day that I have not cried to come to office (The last time I remember, I used to cry to go to school during the initial days of my school).

First day (Monday), I somehow managed to spend time, because I had to fill too many forms and undergo lots of joining formalities.

Second day (Tuesday), I tried to study each individual and understand what kind of people they are. I did come out with my thesis on the same. I declared, they are all very conservative, don’t talk, don’t laugh, they are in their own world!!!

Third day (Wednesday), I was given a laptop and some documents. I was going through the same. And by noon, I got my e-mail ID :). I felt like I own a treasure now. I literally had a chat with my previous company friends. Was feeling great! I felt I was missing a great deal coming to this place. I was missing that joy.

Fourth day (Thursday) I was on leave (Evident that I was happy too).

Fifth day (Friday), more or less the same feeling until lunch break. But after that, I heard about some dance performance organized by the company and got busy collecting passes for the same and calling friends who were interested to come and making plans…

Weekend went on really great as I spent my most of the time with a sweet little baby “Chiraag”.

Sixth day (Monday), when I thought of coming to office, I started feeling low. I knew I would come here and sit like a dumb. Doing nothing useful, other than going through the document. No one is of my type. They are all utter boring. But, I had no other choice. I had to come. Good that I had to come :). As usual, I spent one more miserable day in office and was about to move in the evening, that it started raining very heavily. I stood near the door with almost dying, pale face. Cursing the rain all the time. Even after a long wait when the rain dint stop, I came in and sat reading (or rather browsing) the newspaper (I find it real boring!). A few of my friends (from the other teams) came to me and sat with me. We had a good conversation. They were all going by bus, so, they started when the rain reduced a little. I go by 2-wheeler, and was still waiting for the rain to stop. Cursing the rain all the time (all over again!!). Inevitably, I had to come up and sit with my team mates (I thought I would better watch them do some work and learn). Surprisingly, I actually liked every moment I was there with them. We smiled, talked, laughed, pulled each other’s leg, and had great fun. Never realized that the rain stopped completely!! Now I started recognizing myself as one among the team. I felt it was a different team (or a different me!?). What did it require?? The rain? The time? Or the change?? I don not know. But, whatever it is, I thank it for the cause.

Seventh day (Tuesday/Today), although I had a dual mind to come to office, I was not sad. Talking to all of them seems considerably easy now. I now ask for any favor from them easily as if I have known them for a long time. And they too feel pleasured to help me. We keep making fun of each other. Spend some good time with all. And also work at the time of work. Things randomly changed so much for me. And my curiosity was killing me. I was now keen to know what made the difference? In no time, I discovered that the reason behind all this drastic change was “Smile”.

Just like every turning point have a curve, this one also had this gentle curve, universally called smile :). I realize it’s worth now! I had to waste (or rather utilize) one week to understand this fact. Let my experience be a lesson to others. Put one question to yourself everyday, “Did I smile today?”. And find the answer. Because a smile can change life. People always said about me that I am too flexible and I get along with any kind of people pretty well. I don’t know how far it is true. But yeah, I now know that no two individuals are same. Each person has some thing special. Just explore that and see life will be so easy. Even now, if I compare my present team with the previous one, the former one was younger, energetic, fun loving. But, the later is also no less. They are special in their own way. Just one smile is all that required for me to know them as they are and accept them as they are (and yet be happy). Now I feel I am glad that I am here. Because, I have everything, good money, work, people. What more can I ask but this, DID YOU SMILE TODAY?

Right place to work!!(?)

When I started to write blogs, I thought, it will be a good platform for my poems/compositions (if I can call them so… I do scribble whenever I feel like). Now when I look at it, it looks like a repository of the same. Feels nice :)

Today when I am writing this, I am actually sitting in a lab in Bosch and it is just the 3rd day of my job here!!! And, I am typing this in a word document hoping to transfer the same to my blog…

Having just 3yr of work experience, I have seen a lot in professional life (and personal!!??). I started my career in a very small place. We were just a bunch of 10-15 working in the company (including my BOSS – I call him “SIR” with all love and respect). He will be remembered by everyone who meets him for whatever he is (not to mention for all good reasons). Such a person he is. I have always admired his knowledge, patience and teaching skills. He is the only person whom I call teacher (after my school). It was more than just a wonderful experience to work with a gem like him. All went well, except for this fact that I dint have a career growth (in terms of money)!! My destiny just took me to a better place when I was in a crisis and it was too mesmerizing to deny!

I was suddenly into a new company, a big one, of course. BIG in terms of name, and money to a certain extent. I was given a cabin of my own! Phone, internet, what not?? But, work wise, I never was satisfied. I, basically being a very friendly, fun loving person made some good friends there. We literally rocked the place!! Enjoyed all the time with them. Did not last there for long… I could not find peace there. Wanted a break. So, left that job too!

Small company is far better than BIG ones, I thought now. I had work satisfaction and a good number of friends in my 1st company, but, no money. And sadly, money is one of the factors with which a person’s success is measured. BIG companies offer BIG money, but, job satisfaction?? I was not sure. Maybe, not all companies are same. This was my thought process when I sat jobless at home for 15 days. Fortunately (!!?), there was something that came up my way which I felt was the break that I was looking for. I got a chance to train the freshers on C, C++, Unix who were recruited into some BIG company :). I felt like I was back to college. Had a great time with all my trainees. I loved them all and they loved me equally. Never realized how time just flew away… And all my trainees had to move on with their work (Although we are still in touch). I was left with no work again!! I had to go to office, and spend time doing nothing! Back to square one. Meanwhile, certain problems arouse there with the HR people and others too. And most importantly, that place also reminded me of one “person” who became a very important part of my life and went away… I knew him hardly for a few months… But, time really does not matter (looking at all the pain and joyous moment that I have had) when it comes to having feelings for someone. Ohh!! Let me not make it personal (although that influenced me too). The place started looking like hell to me. I started feeling suffocating there. I put down my papers again (without a job in hand)!! I was serving my notice period and meanwhile, I got a job!

Company was again BIG! I had to work at the client’s place which was quite exciting for me. Work was neither very interesting nor bad. I somehow started liking it. Friends!? Worth mentioning, that friendship just happened. Amazingly, we were all like minded people put together in one place. Time again went on partying, having blasts, making merry. Money came into picture again… This time, it was not for me, but, for my family that I was fighting and there was no room to compromise. There was no hike given because the market is low and I gave up the job!

I am here now getting more money than before. The place, work, food, everything is too good out here, except for the team :(. The team is utter boring and conservative. But, I still have to hang on, because, I have a lot to learn here… And of course, the biggest of all reasons, I have good money.

Don’t know what’s hidden in my future. But, after 3 years of work experience (also), I still am struggling hard to find the right place to work!! Wonder does it really exist??

Why did you gift me with
So much of your
Love, care and concern
Only to leave me
Alone and desperate in the end…

Sleep peacefully in the serene night.
Let love keep you warm from cold,
Let the wind brush you with joy,
Let the stars sprinkle you with their beauty,
Let the moon bless you with luster and shine,
Let the entire sky take care of you,
Let the silent night admire your innocence,
Let you get up tomorrow as an entire new person
I’m blessed,
For you spent the entire night in my arms,
Ask the heavens how valuable you are,
Life could not be any better…

My innocent little princess
You are the sweetest on earth
Your eyes tell a story of innocence
Your embrace encapsulates the warmth of your love
The sweet surrender of your tender being
With affection unparalleled
Gives me peace of heavens
What more say I of your humble presence!?

All those times then,
When I used to be in your arms,
Rest my head on your chest and sleep.
All those times then,
When your hand moved gently over my head.
All those times then,
When you held my hand
And pressed your lips on my forehead.
All those times then,
When I was loved and cared by you.
All those times then,
How will I forget them?
Although a dream,
I remember every bit of it
At every moment of my life,
To miss you much more,
And love you even more…

As I walked on the seashore with you,
I liked being with you,
I loved to be loved by you.
My generosity made me gift myself to you.
You had become the reason for my living,
Until all of a sudden,
I was alarmed to see no one beside,
I was walking alone and it mute me to sadness,
As I stood where I was in a perplexed state.
But still, I was not lonely,
Because, all the time your thoughts engaged me,
And you reappeared, and we moved hand in hand,
By and by, you disappeared again,
And this time, I did not stop,
I stepped back and got shocked!!!,
To see all along the way,
My footsteps… and none!

Sailing or Sinking!?

As I was playing with water
I took a handful of it
And saw an image of moon.
I happily concluded I possess it,
And started rejoicing
Jumping, dancing, singing, trying to reach the sky…,
Amidst my pride, I did not notice
That I’m loosing it in drops,
As the water in my hand dripped slowly…
After a while,
When I did not have a single drop of it in my hand
Tears just rolled down my cheeks…,
I looked above dejected,
And could not make out whether,
The moon was sinking or sailing in the sky!?

I arise from the dreams of you
In the first sweet sleep of night
When the winds are breathing low
And the stars are shining bright.
The moon seeking in to steal a glance
And finding you with me in a dream
Quickly hides behind a cloud.
I said, “Dear, I love her”,
It descended down and blesses you with its glow,
The charm on your face smiles in sleep
And I missed a beat,
I knew I will die,
I stopped breathing,
I thought I’ll surely die
And also thought I will die thousand
Deaths to treasure that lifetime moment
So, I stopped breathing,
Until you pressed your lips on mine and made me respire!
And this time, moon went behind the clouds out of shy…

In those cold nights the times we spent
Together will remain unparalleled.
When the desires were bare
And you loved every corner of it
And took them in your strong arms
The moment we were no longer two but one
Everything brightened in darkness
Eyes started brimming out of happiness
After gifting myself entirely to you
And feeling you wholly
I’m finding it difficult to stay away from you
Even for a moment… now!

Dark in woods,
I hear a strange screaming sound,
A fearful night,
Giving rise to haunting thoughts,
With my frightened eyes, undone hairs,
I tremble to step forward alone…
…it was that moment; I realized I need someone to hold my hands
It was that moment; I wanted someone to build up courage in me
It was that moment; I wanted someone’s hands to wipe my tears and caress
And of course, it was that moment;
You stepped ahead and put forward your hands
To hold mine, to wipe my tears, to caress, to extend your help
I was so much moved by your care and concern and your unselfish ways
That I gave away my heart, my love and myself to you…,

Now I feel, life could have been no better!!

How much I remembered you during the day...

It’s since when the mild sunlight
Touch my cheeks to wake me up,
That your remembrances start recurring me!

As I get up yawning and stretch my body,
I remember you.
As I walk to the window and peep out to glance,
I remember you.
As the wind whirls in my undone hairs,
I remember you.
As I feel cold and long for a hug from you,
I remember you.
As the sun starts glaring at me and I bake in it,
I remember you.
As I sink into the memories of some nostalgic events of my life,
I remember you.
As I see the flowers arranged in the vase swaying with wind,
I remember you.
As the sun sets and I stand like a golden idol on hill top,
I remember you.
As I gaze at birds happily getting back to their nests,
I remember you.
As I hear to a melodious song from a distance,
I remember you.
As I get back home and splash water to my face,
I remember you.
As the lights get low and stars blink at me,
I remember you.
As I stand under the dark sky,
Trying to get a glimpse of moon,
Hiding behind the clouds,
I remember you.
As I push myself to bed and try to sleep,
I remember you.
As I think how much I miss you and tears stream down,
I remember you.
As I close my eyes and find you smiling in my heart,
I remember you.
As after a long struggle, a wink of sleep touches me,
And I dream about you,
I remember you.
As I sleep peacefully and moon bless me with its luster,
I remember you.
As the sun comes up the next day,
And you press your lips on my forehead to wake me up,
Happiness vibrate in the entire world of mine,
As I hug you,
I remember…
…how much I remembered you during the day…

What kind of an attraction is this love?
The sheer matter of substance, in the world,
The only meaning of being alive,
What’s kept in life without this?
Flying beyond this emotional succor,
Merely, keeps you in loss!
So, be benefited, be loved, and give your love…,
To the people around you!

How will I express myself,
When you are in front!?
I somehow loose control over myself,
And forget the rest of the world!
I feel certain that no one on earth
Can love you as much as I do!
But, to whom will I express myself,
When you are not in front!?

I want you to be here…, now…,
To share…,
My hidden thoughts,
My overwhelming feelings,
My small happiness,
Big sorrows,
Everlasting pain,
Unexpected loss,
Accidental victory,
My laughter,
My tears,
In short, my life!
So, I want you to be here…, now…, and always…

Beneath the shade of your eye lid,
In the core of your heart,
I discover heaven!
Thus, I like to dwell in there
Just as you tower above the rest
In my heart!!!

My love to you is getting intensified
With each passing day.
I live life with you even in your absence!
While plucking flowers in the garden, I feel the electrifying effect of the
Warmness of your breath in the touch of the wind.
When I recline in your thoughts gazing at the sky,
I see your face sailing gradually from behind the clouds.
When I hear the humming sound of the bee,
I tend to get carried away with it as if
Listening to your words in your tone.
When I wear an elegant dress,
And look up myself in the mirror,
I see you in the image, admiring my beauty.
When I fasten my knot, the hairs falling
On my back gives me the impression of
Your fingers playing on my back.
When I cover myself,
I get to feel I’m in your arms.
When I worship,
I portrait you as my deity.
With so much love, confidence and trust in you,
I can lead the entire life in your thoughts!
But still, when the feeling of your presence
Can make my life so marvelous;
I look forward in wonderment to perceive the difference
Your actual presence brings into my small fantasy world…

Long time...

It’s a long time since I cried,
I haven’t even felt the pain, since a long time.
It’s a long time since I got hurt,
You haven’t even wronged me, since a long time.
It’s a long time since I last made a complaint,
You haven’t even committed any mistake since a long time.
Though you are very much near and dear to me
Happiness is too very far,
I haven’t even received any grief from you,
Since a long time…

With you, I’ve regrets,
I’ve complaints, I’ve confusions;
And with you I’ve love too,
Which always forces me to do anything for you,
My heart arise my thirst for you,
While my brain awake my awareness of the facts,
On one hand, my interests for you push me towards you,
While on the other hand my shyness pulls me back,
My dual thinking has made everything uncertain,
So, I did nothing, but wait for eternity,
And, I believe, in this endless wait,
I’ve forged an effective bond with you,
I’ve had you!!!

Eyes make you see the beauty of the world,
Eyes weave dreams for you,
Eyes express your feelings,
Eyes shed tears,
Tears of happiness;
Tears of grief;
Eyes sparkle when surprised,
Eyes help you notice colors of life,
Eyes when strike,
Results in exchange of thoughts,
Eyes mirror the entire world to you,
And, to the world, it mirrors everything in you!

Life!? Search!?

Life is nothing but a search
Before birth, it search for its way out of the womb,
After birth, it search for its way to its destination
And in course, it is always searching for something or the other.
When in burning sun, it search for a shade,
When in dark, it search for a ray of light,
When in solitary, it search for a companion,
When in trouble, it search for a support,
When in this competitive world, it search for a grand success,
But, whatever it is, it is always searching for peace of mind,
When you have nothing, you want few,
When you get few, you want more,
Then, much more.
When you have this, you want that,
When you have that, you prefer this,then, something else,
You always search for more,
So, life is nothing,
But an endless search…

The letter...

We all know where we start from;
We know the beginning not the end
So, I thought its better I start up
And hence, wrote this letter to you.
I began more ethically;
My first line was hi, hello, how are you,
Second was also a bit formal,
Asking about your parents, family and so on…
Third also went the same way
Asking about your work and your day.
My fourth line was a more matured one,
Saying, what you mean to me,
What I felt for you,
What I expect from you,
What struck me the most in you,
How you impressed me,
And of course, what all I can do for you,
By the time I could take a look at the note
I was somewhere in my fourth page!
There was much more to write;
But the limits did not permit me
I was able to get off a good start
But, dint know how to end.
Shall I say good bye or see you or waiting for your reply…,
Or shall I send with a pigeon and wait for it
To come back to me with your answer…,
I was knocked down by confusions to such an extent that
This incomplete story lies with me since many many long years…

With you...

With you, I could see stars in the day,
And see the rays of the sun kissing
The rosy cheeks of river in the night.
With you, I could hear the flapping
Of wings of a dove flying beyond the clouds.
With you, I could smell the wet mud
And lingering roses in a cactus garden.
With you, I could fight the entire world
With more confidence and courage.
With you, my deserted life could bloom
Like a flower and my emotions started
Dancing like a fountain in the garden
For the music of your love.
With you, all else seems irrelevant!

How much I missed you

If you could come here,
I would have hugged you tight,
Cried out all my frozen tears,
Rubbed my forehead on your supporting shoulders,
Kissed your beautiful eyes,
Laid in your lap,
And told you,
How much I missed you,
Every day, every moment…